Monday, January 30, 2012

Check Yo Self

Khage is getting gangster on us.  He has been working on his scuzz hardcore For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, much like I was before I became a Whitehead and learned of their interesting vocabulary, a scuzz is a dirty look. A mean mug. A glare.
He looks at us like we are the stupidest people and he can't bare to be around our foolishness for the rest of the day. I cant even get mad because I am too busy being offended. Frankly, it hurts my feelings.  
Do you see that brow line hard at work?
If I remember correctly we are the parents. We're supposed to have the mean intense look that sends our kid into a panic, not the other way around!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Bye Bye Blues.

Nothing fights off his moody blues like going outside.

This guy is...

Khage has become quite the little helper. Always assisting us in feeding the dogs or cleaning up his toys. He is very willing to do these things and gets so excited when we ask him. In fact he is so anxious to lend that helping hand that if we continue on with the task, without his assistance, he melts into a puddle of tears.
I am amazed at how much Khage has grown in the past month. Just a month ago he didn't understand a lick that was coming out of our mouths... but now he is so full of understanding. When asked he will pick things up for us, spit out foreign objects that don't belong in his mouth into out hands, he will eat his veggies (even though his reaction to them is nothing short of disgust), and throw away his dirty diapers. He cuts my chore time in half. Or is it that he adds to it...?
He is really growing into such a big boy... and I am absolutely loving this stage.
Now lets discuss how old he has to be to scrub the bathrooms...

Monday, January 23, 2012

Remember when

he looked like this?
I am not referring to the deer in the headlights look, but more the hair...
Boy, do I miss that hair. It gave me my fair share of problems, certainly nothing like the problems my hair gave my mother ... but non the less Khage's hair wasn't going to help him when any beauty pageants. It was always so frumpy, so very bed head, just a hot mess... my little hot mess. And I miss it.
Shame on that Daddy.

Dooty Booty

I am so excited to say I got to use cloth diapers. This along with many other dreams I had, like a natural birth, were later replaced with more convenient options.
Lets start from the beginning:
Do you know why kids love cuties? I think the package says something about them being small little oranges that are easy to peel
Do you know why parents love cuties? Because sometimes they get tired of their kid always wanting unhealthy finger foods and cuties are a pretty good alternative.

Now fast forward.
Khage got hooked on these cuties. He was eating three to four of these little oranges a day. If he saw one on the counter he would just point at them all E.T style. This led to citrus acidity overload, that's not the proper diagnosis but I think its pretty close.
To sum up the side effects: lots and lots of diarrhea.
Yes, this post is about the squirts, the trots, dysentery.
Pick which ever one makes you the least uncomfortable.
He was going through diapers like every half hour... and man that's alot of money in the trash covered in crap.
So there you have it, we put that cute dooty covered booty in cloth diapers for the rest of the day.
 I wont lie to you, it was a tough job... it quickly went from look how cute he looks in these to ahhh can you friggin youtube how to put these stinkin things on him right they keep falling off!!!
 And don't judge my on my diaper folding technique... those little buggers are hard to get on a wiggling toddler all the while trying not to stick him with a pretty sharp looking pin. Ya the outside of those pins are all cute with monkeys and little yellow ducklings but darn you open those suckers up and they get fierce real fast. I guess its a miracle that Brad convinced me to use disposables on him because the business of cloth diaper just ain't any of my business anymore.

Put another burger on the barbie

The weather has been beautiful. Too beautiful for January but were not gonna ask any questions. Were just gonna pack up some foods and head outdoors for a little impromptu barbecue at our local state park.
Brad and I are always smartin off at the mouth about how kids don't ever play outside anymore, but on this day we couldn't have appreciated it more. Aside from one other family, no one was at this park. We were surrounded by empty picnic tables, the sweet sounds of the birds and miles and miles of beautiful Texas scenery.
We relaxed, ate some grub, Khage explored, he minorly burned his hand on the hot barbecue, Mommy overreacted, Daddy calmly handled the situation and we headed home. Its lovely days like this that I wish we lived up on some secluded mountain top with no one within ten miles of our house.
I'm telling ya, if it wasn't for our families we would buy a small little house on the prairie and just live a quiet little life just us and nature.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Battle of the Buzz

Daddy wanted him to have a buzz cut
Mommy did not...

Obviously Daddy won that battle.

But that's okay. I choose my battles wisely...
because soon enough Brad is going to want to allow Khage to jump off something high, or play with something dangerous, or ride something too fast, and I am going to need every bit of leverage to fight off those dangers.

So Brad can have his little buzz cut baby.

(And don't mind his cute little Puddin' face. He tries to feed himself.)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Let Me Count the Ways.

This is a post about nothing and absolutely everything at the same time.
This video doesn't highlight any major accomplishes or achievements, unless you count his insane level of adorableness as an achievement. I know I do. It is simply put: a video of Khage at home being Khage, and those are the moments that I will miss the most once he grows up and only stops at home for a change of clothes and his allowance. Jokes on him, he wont be getting an allowance.

 I love the way he throws his toys around in quick little rages, or the way mumbles of words escape his lips, and the way those mumbles to him sound like proper English and we are in fact the ones speaking jibberish, the way his hair always sits so frumpy like, the way a smile from us guarantees a smile from him that's ten times cuter and followed up by a chuckle, the way he gets an urge to smack himself in the head for no apparent reason, the look of his face when he tries to make blowing sounds, the way he wears his Christmas jammies in January, the way he dumps out his toys just to hear them crash to the floor, and lastly the way his personality suits him like a little pair of Elmo slippers; perfectly snug.
Seriously? The face with the jammies and the slippers. That's it he's getting squeezed.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Ding Dong.

Khage got a delivery the other day. I say the other day but this could very well have taken place weeks ago... all my days kinda blend together. I was just informed at Khage's 12 month appointment that he is in fact older then 13 months...
I know shocked the heck outta me too.
That just goes to show you I cant be trusted, my biological clock is on the fritz. 
Khage got this special little delivery from Auntie Lissa and Patrick as a combined birthday slash Christmas gift.
He opened his gift in record time and was bombarded with so many fun things. Dr Seuss books, a personalized onsie that is literally the softest fabric I have ever felt (which caused Brad to state that from this point on he will only wear clothes made from 100% polyester... oh dear someone save me from my eighty year old husband), a personalized bib and lastly a pair of Dr. Seuss Thing 1 and Thing 2 Converse high tops. I am not sure I have ever laid my eyes on a cuter pair of shoes. Sadly they were a few sizes too small but that didn't stop Brad and I from trying to squeeze Khage's size 5 foot into a size 3.
And it starts, I am trying to force my child into clothing items that are too small... maybe its best I don't have a daughter.
I am sure you can tell by his expressions that he loves all his fun gifts. Thanks again sister.
Sidenote: yes my baby can read books upside down... I have said it before and I will say twice more my baby is a genius.
My baby is a genius.


This is what happened the other day.
He got stuck standing on his little mini chair. Yes, stuck. He couldn't get down and instead of attempting to get off on his own he resorted to just standing there all Gilligan's Island stranded on his mini chair. Apparently he thought it was a pretty steep drop from the mini chair to the ground because he wouldn't even attempt it.
Pop quiz, have we ever discussed how Khage has zero patience, and will cry for help the minute he cant figure something out and not even attempt to problem solve?
No? Well now you got to see it first hand.

And whats up with his pants situation?
You got me, I'm just the mother.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


This poor kid used to slumber like this; all kicked back, feet up, with the
pacifier stuck in his face

 But then it came time for pesky little New Year's resolutions.

First we pondered potty training.

No we didn't he is way too young, but for the sake of the story lets say we pondered it.

No that wouldn't work. Then our minds went Star-spangled banner. Could he memorize it? Could we film it, post it online and possibly make it on youtube as the Youngest Most Patriotic Baby Ever? We could get a few hits I'm sure and then I could go ahead and cross off becoming a film director as my resolution. It was a festive option, but again too young and his vocabulary hasn't even hit Mama yet, so dang it America get in line.

So the only other valid option was the pacifier. Yes the ginky (pronounced binky with a G instead of a B) had to go. We know we didn't want to play around with loosing it over a long designated drawn out period, we wanted to cold turkey it. Shabang. Whammy. Adios. Sayonara. Are you follow me?

So the first night it was bad. Like trying to convince Brad to not shower after a haircut bad. Screams and yells coming at me with little time for deflection. The putting to bed was fine, but once he woke up an hour later he screamed f o r e v e r. We took turns patting his back, shushing him, and trying our best to comfort him without actually picking him up.

Until Daddy actually picked him up.

Daddy cracked. What a good loving Daddy. Me on the other hand? Eh, when I'm on a mission I'm straight coldhearted. But that sweet loving Daddy brought him into our bed where Khage fell right to sleep. And the next morning I snatched up all those ginkys and they got what was coming to them.

I chopped off all the tips. Enough that he could no longer hold it in his mouth without using his hands. And I gave them back to him saying key phrases like broken, gone, no more. He tried a few more times to use the pacifiers but bloop they would fall right out of his mouth!

And five days later without a single slip up this boy is officially off the wagon.

I think he deserves an award for New Years Resolution completed the quickest.

These words.

Its almost ten o'clock at night and both my guys are sleeping. I'm tired but I know the minute my head hits the pillow I will be wondering why I felt the need to jump into bed prematurely. I always do that, I blow my level of tiredness out of proportion and then I just lie there mentally beating myself up for getting into bed before I knew without a doubt I could even fall asleep. So here I sit, tired but not tired enough. And then I stumbled upon this and it shook every ounce of tiredness I had.

Do you ever hear a song and think the song was written for you. Well I don't. But sometimes I think I may have been the muse for some quotes floating around out there. And this quote is no exception. The minute I read it I was all hook, line and sinker.

I don't know why I just chose to use a fish reference here or even if I applied it correctly.
You know... when in Rome?

Anyway this quote is amazing. He took the words right out of my mouth, then thesaurused my words to make them more applicable, and used proper grammar, all the while sounding very Plato meets Sarah Mclachlan. Now I'm ruining it for you, just read the quote.

Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.”
Louis de Bernieres


2 Years and Counting.

Brad and I just celebrated our two year anniversary. Don't let that little number fool you... we have been together for alot longer then a measly 750 days. Neither of us can really remember exactly how long and if your interested in the nittygritty of how we met click here. That link will take you back.

Not back to the year we met, its not a time travel portal.

Sheesh. Where did I find you people?

Its the link to our very first blog post and it breaks down our meet-cute. A term I learned while watching romantic comedies... it describes a situation in which a future romantic couple meets for the first time in a way that is considered adorable, entertaining, or amusing. I copied that from wikipedia. This isn't school I can use them as a source if I want.

With two years under our marriage belt it was about the time that we put our marriage to the test. Newlywed Game style. We asked various questions and we got a point for every time our answers matched.

1) Which cereal would Brad say described Jamee when they first met: Oatmeal Squares, Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops or Sugar Puffs?
We both said Fruit Loops
(1 point)

2) If Jamee could choose one item of Brads to throw away, what would it be?
Jamee: Those nasty red basketball shorts that are all flimsy, stained, and deteriorating right now.
Brad: The red gym shorts that I am wearing right now. ahhh i really do hate them.
(1 point)

3) Not many people know this but Brad is ___________.
Jamee: A good sewer.
Brad: Anti bloated government! and excuse us while we go discuss this because I have no idea what he is talking about!
(0 points)
4) If Brad died what animal would he come back as?
Jamee: A chupacabra, because no one ever sees them because their stealth abilities.
Brad: A hawk because I would be ontop of the food chain and its illegal for people to shoot me. This is so him, I am upset that I didnt think of this first.
(0 points)

5) What is the most embarrassing thing Jamee ever did around Brad?
Jamee: I know he is gonna say when I farted on him by accident. 
Brad: Farted. When you farted on me! In my defense we were playing a game where we had to see if we could move each other while the other person played dead. What can I say I really let me self get into that role.
(1 point)

Total Score: 3

If I remember correctly 60% is a passing grade!

Like I always say... well I don't say it as much as I think it

We may not have it all together
But together we have it all.
And because were feeling pretty nostalgic here are a few old ones

I love you Brad. And no amount of shaggy retired old red gym shorts wearing is gonna change that.
Here's to the next 50 plus years.

Christmas 2011

 This was quite a lovely little Christmas.
Just the three of us, at home loving each other.
I know I am a wee bit late with this post.
But none the less these things needed documenting.