Friday, August 31, 2012

A Night Time Song

The background information:
I have watched this video too many times and have come to a single conclusion: I couldn't have been given a better child for me. He is in no way a perfect boy, in fact sometimes I wonder if I got a busted one. He is boisterous and hostile at times. He often resorts to hitting when anger strikes and rarely gives kisses out of the kindness of his heart... they are usually forced from me blackmailing him and even then he kinda just smashes his face against mine, no pucker involved. He throws things, yells alot, and refuses to let me hold him. I am needy and I know this. I constantly ponder why I am not his favorite parent and how Daddy trumped me so quickly. People say its a phase but do phases last for the entirety of someones life? I'm being dramatic. But I long for Khage's attention and he never gives it to me, but then there are moments... special days like yesterday when he loves me and I can feel it.

The story:
The other day Khage was being a turd, he wouldn't go to sleep and instead insisted on crying for Daddy in his bed for 45 minutes. Daddy was at work and I was enjoying my quiet time playing scrabble on my phone by the light of a candle. Sounds romantic, right? Not so much. Well I finally gave in and brought Khage into my room to lye in my bed for a small while with the hopes that he would eventually doze off. That small while eventually turned into over an hour of us wide awake just laying there, playing with blankets, and enjoying each others company. He adored me. Maybe it was because it was I who saved him from his bed, or maybe because sometimes he knows he doesn't give me the attention I so desperately seek. He would snuggle me when I asked him to, we talked as best we could with his limited vocabulary and he held my hand when ever he felt so inclined. Those moments are the ones I lock away forever, they mean so much more because he is my rowdy boy, the very same one who scratches to get away from me when I try to bear hug him. He hates my affection and sometimes it hurts... but not this day. He was soaking up my love and I was giving it away in buckets.

The video:
Did I mention he sang to me? Well he did. He serenaded me with beautiful poetic songs about how much he adores his Mommy. This small moment lasted only a short while, it was so quickly replaced not 2 minutes later by him aggressively hitting me square in the face. But I will take what ever moments like this that I can steal, even if it means a small beating will follow.

Don't be concerned that the video is not working properly because your only getting sound with no visual, might I remind you that the room was lit by a single candle.

Things to note:
Listen carefully and you can here the sounds of him shushing me as I request more singing
I love the way in which his songs always start off with the same few notes
I am amazed at how controlled his pitch is
And lastly, I have no idea what Ma'ghee-ah means.

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