Wednesday, September 23, 2015

false alarm... again

Rohn is over a month old now. It's strange to think it was just six weeks ago that I thought I was in labor. Of course an actual labor took place but the false one was so much more embarrassing.  I am ashamed to admit I was guilty of a false alarm... but in my defense that's progress. With Khage I was sent home twice with deceitful labors. Yes, two times a nurse had to look me in the eyes and tell my to buck up, shut up and come back when a baby is actually exiting my body. Obviously the dialogue was different but the message was spot on.

Hindsight, I should not have fallen victim to that final false alarm. I really should have known...

+ When you stop to get Jamba Juice before heading to the hospital... you are not in labor.

+ When you text a selfie to your Mom and sisters on the way to the hospital and mock a contraction face... you are not in labor.


+ When you walk into the labor and delivery ward and a nurse compliments you on how pretty you look... you are not in labor.

+ When you can happily participate in a labor inducing dance... you are not in labor.




+ When you can do multiple squats against a wall and think to yourself "my form is just outstanding right now"... you are not in labor.

+ When you can jog up and down the stairs taking two at a time while your husband hums the Rocky theme song... you are not in labor

+ If a triage nurse instructs you to walk around the hospital for an hour to induce contraction and you and your husband can happily enjoy that time spent together because to you any outing without kids is basically a date... you are not in labor.

+ But if you show up to the hospital in unwashed clothes, are loudly grunting and moaning, crying ugly, scared to death, demanding an epidural even though that goes against everything you wanted, and all the while wondering quite possibly if your dying and don't understand how not a single person in a room filled with people including the one man who put you in such predicament could not even care...

.... well, then you just might be in labor


...and then you can expect more ugly crying, but at least you'll have a beautiful baby to show for it.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

he's here

(... and has been for some time.)

Last time I sat here to blog I had something hindering my ability to sit comfortably. But today I sit without impediment because that nuisance, our baby, has been born. I no longer get attacked from the inside the moment I stray from an upright ninety degree posture. Instead, said baby, rattles me from deep beautiful sleep multiple times a night, it demands all throughout the day to be fed exactly when it desires and with no concern for what I am doing at that exact moment, and insists that I keep it safe and comfortable all the moments in between. That baby... we call him Rohn Thomas, but he answers to nothing... comes with quite a bit of baggage. But boy is he perfect.

Cue birth announcement twenty nine days late...

Think of it as a test drive. We wanted to be sure we were jivin' before committing ourselves as his guardians for the next 18 years. It was stop and go for a while all thanks to the meconium and Rohn's insistence on showing it to us 6 times a day. But now that that phase has passed we are simply smitten with him.

Welcome to the family sweet boy, we love you without condition now that our sole condition has been met.